Yesterday was spent delightfully celebrating my friends daughters 1st birthday. It was special.
The older I get the more I see how special and meaningful these moments are. When my own children were babies non of my close girlfriends had become Mum’s yet, so now, years later, I have watched as one by one they have all become mothers and it feels such privilege to witness. I can see now, what, when your in the middle of those first few years as a mum, you don’t always realise.
I see how every little look at their baby is filled with love and adoration. I see how every little touch of their hand to their babies face is so tender and loving.
Motherhood is so beautiful, but it’s easier to see that with hindsight. I don’t remember feeling like every single moment was wondrous, I was too tired, too busy, just too worn out! I know my friends have days like this too. I want to tell them “Sod the housework, the washing, the dusting, cuddle the baby instead, sing to them, stare into their eyes and hold them tight. These days are so fleeting’.
When I see their babies faces light up with a smile when they look at their Mummy I want to capture the moment forever. When my 11 & 13 year old look at me there definitely doesn’t seem to be the same level of idolisation. I’m sure they did when they babies but I took it for granted, and I certainly never noticed when they stopped doing it.
I want to go back in time and feel their little chubby arms reaching out for me, wipe away their tears and know that I am the only person in the whole world who can make everything better for them.
I look at my friends and wonder if they can feel how miraculous it is to create another human like they have done. One who will grow up, become an adult, go off into the world on their own and that how successful they are at this all depends upon what we are teaching them now. Do they feel equipped enough to do that or are they like me, taking it day by day, as if I thought too hard about it I would be so afraid, the weight of making another human into a productive member of society would be too much. I’m not sure I’m all that productive myself most of the time!
I try so hard, doesn’t every mother, to guide them and mould them into kind and loving souls. All I want for them is to be happy and at peace with themselves. I sometimes let them get away with murder and other days I feel like I’m too hard on them. I contradict myself a lot, in my words and my actions, and I make mistakes.
But I love them. With everything in me.
And it’s that which I recognise in my my friends faces when I watch them with their children. That Mothers Love, there is nothing like it in the world.
I hope they, and every other Mum, go to bed every night and give thanks for this chance at such an important job, not worrying about if they did everything right today, or if their kitchen is messy, or if theres enough cereal for morning. I hope they get into bed and drift off to sleep with a smile thinking of all the love they got to give and receive today, and feel blessed that they get to do it all again tomorrow.