You can’t appreciate the good if you’ve never been through the bad.
A small statement but it can throw a whole new perspective on life.
It came into focus for me recently talking to a mum who had watched her adult daughter go through a really tough time a couple of years ago. Her daughters life has completely turned around now and she is so happy. Her Mum told me how good it felt to see how far she’s come and that it was so sad that she’d had to go through what she did. I replied that if she hadn’t gone through what she did she might not appreciate all she has now and as I said it I realised how true this is for me too.
All the amazing things I have in my life, and I don’t mean the material things, I mean my Husband, my children, the amount of time we spend laughing together, all the love we share, I value all of these things that much more because I have lived without them.
Growing up in home which contained just my Mum and I – my Mum btw who did an amazing job of raising me, giving me everything I needed and wanted as well as showering me with love – makes me cherish what I have created, my little family filled with love and support. Seeing how hard it was for my Mum to handle me on her own makes me appreciate having someone to lean on, someone to share the good and the not so good days with.
If I’d have grown up in a home like I have now I wouldn’t know how hard it can be on your own, I wouldn’t know how lonely it can be to have no other adult to share the burden with. If I didn’t know these things when things got tough would I be tempted to just leave? Take the children, go and create a new life without much thought about what I’d be leaving behind or what our children would miss out on? I’m willing to guess that I’d give it more than a second thought.
If I didn’t have an ex that I couldn’t trust, who put other people and things before me, would I be so thankful for a Husband who’s adored me since the day we met? Someone who always puts me and our children first and loves and cares for us like we are the most important people on the planet? I know for a fact I wouldn’t.
There have been so many times in my life when I didn’t know how I’d pay my bills from one month to the next, if I hadn’t experienced this how would I know how good it feels not to have to worry about them? How could I feel the luxury of knowing we can afford all our bills, keep a fridge full of delicious food and not wonder if we will have enough money to cover everything this month.
If there hadn’t been any sadness in my life, days where I’ve laid on the floor crying, days where I’ve thought my heart might actually physically break, how could I be grateful for all the happiness I feel now? I wouldn’t know to treasure this happiness.
I could look at all of these as bad things and wonder why they happened to me but I don’t. I recognise that all the things I once viewed as ‘bad’ in my life never were. They were lessons. They were preparing me for better. They are my blessings, I don’t wish any of them away, because if it wasn’t for all of these experiences I wouldn’t be the person I am today, and I love who I am and the life I’ve created.
Everything in my life has happened FOR me, not to me. It has all been for my benefit, so I could grow, learn and become more than I was.
It’s the same for you. When you re-frame everything that’s happened, everything you’ve thought of as a negative event, if you choose to look at them with new eyes and view them as something positive, something that empowered you, you’re not just changing your past, you’re changing your future. The Universe is always guiding your soul to be the best it can be. You aren’t a victim of circumstance, none of us are.
If you are going through something hard right now, know in your heart that it is just a lesson, something you need to learn and that it is all going to be okay. You are uniquely you because of what you have been through, not despite of, and that right there is your brand new powerful perspective that can change your life if you let it.